Super Slots Review

Online gambling is in and real-life casinos are out. Why gamble in a stuffy-ass, smoky-ass casino filled with all kinds of non-desirables when you could kick back at home with an entire bottle of scotch and go to town on some chance games? I hate it when random people bump into me when I’m gambling. Then, there are the annoying folks who think I want their breath in my ear when they wish me luck on my next craps roll. Fuck that noise. I want to gamble comfortably in my home, where I may or may not be wearing an automated fleshlight. Some people like getting some suction on their cock while they piss money away. Don’t judge me. The thrill of gambling gets my creative juices flowing. By creative juices, I, of course, mean cum.

So, I lube up, I pop on my Super Pro Masturbator 3000 and I head on over to Superslots.Ag to get my fill of virtual games of chance. This is a great fucking website, let me tell you. Right off the bat, you’ll notice that they took the most important thing into account – design. But THAPORNDUDE – I hear you bitch and moan – Aren’t security and payment methods so much more important than style when it comes to gambling? Yes, you troglodyte – they are. But, those things are industry standard at this point. If a gambling website is afloat and legal, which Superslots.Ag very much has covered, then you know they’re safe to use. What remains after that is the design. That’s why you pick Superslots.Ag over their competitors. You want to cut through the bullshit and get to the games. So, let’s do just that.

I went over to a similar website a while back and they bombarded me with all kinds of slot machine options. Now, I have nothing against slot machines. I know that they’re a staple of online gambling. The problem is, not everyone likes slot machines. Some people come to gambling sites for poker; others want to play BlackJack. Hell, you might even want to get in on a live casino with an actual human dealer.

That’s exactly what made Superslots.Ag stand out to me from the get-go. They show you, straight up on the home page, that they have different kinds of gambling options. They couldn’t be more different from one another. So, yes, they do indeed have a clusterfuck of slots for you to choose from, but if you were hoping to see an actual dealer throw cards on a hard surface, well, you’ve got that option too. Really, the world is your oyster on this site, as long as you’re down to do some gambling. They’ve got a little something for everyone – variety in spades.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: The dealer is dealing for anyone and everyone who joins the room, so it doesn’t matter whether you’re there or not – you get a separate hand from everyone else. Sure, that may well be the case, but here’s why that doesn’t matter. The dealer’s hand is the one that matters. It’s the one that determines the outcome of the game. It’s not like they can magically swap out the cards from under your nose in order to trick you. But, what if you prefer a more personal touch? What if you don’t want to be just another face in a crowd? Well, that’s where the poker tables come in. These are easily my favorite part of the whole damn site.

When you’re playing against real people, though, there is no house. Sure, the casino might take a cut from the profits or whatever, but the actual gameplay is untouched. The dealer is there to serve the cards. She doesn’t take any money away. She just moves it around between the players. That’s the whole point of playing against other people. You take the house out of the equation and now there are no real odds. It all comes down to your poker skill and your poker face. Granted, you can’t do much by way of bluffing online. It’s much more exciting in person. Still, I know a lot of people who’ve made an absolute bullion playing online poker. Just remember that people can’t see your face and you’re all set to go.

Hell, they’ve got a fucking Dragonball slot machine in here. That’s how widely they’re casting their net. Now, I’m not saying that you have to be a nerd to enjoy slots. I’m just saying that there’s no multiplayer Dragonball gambling game. There’s only the single-player one, so you do the math.

There are also some nods to old-school gaming with a Galaxian-inspired slot machine, as well as the standard Egyptian and Greek random non-sense you get in real-life casinos. I don’t get the appeal of these, but most of them have busty babes on the cover, so I guess they get a gold star from me. I’ll still take a poker table over this shit, though. That’s just my preference.

The table games are a decent mid-ground between the slots and the head-to-head poker. They let you gamble alongside other people without actually pitting you against them. I’m not personally very good at roulette, but hey, your luck might be different. There are several classic versions plus a few original variations to keep things interesting.